The Fast Five: How to Size Someone Up in Seconds
Reading people isn’t about catching them in a lie. It’s about watching what they do before they think they’re being watched.
Most people blow the first few seconds on small talk, posture, or vibes. That’s fine if you’re trying to make friends. But if you want to understand someone, really understand them, you start with space. How they take it. How they react when someone else controls it. That tells you more in five seconds than a two-hour conversation ever will.
Here’s what to watch.
Posture
How someone stands tells you what they’re ready for. A person’s stance shows you if they’re relaxed, tense, defensive, or trying to dominate. Feet too far apart? Trying to look bigger. Shoulders up and back? Bracing for something. Arms crossed too tight or hands clasped too low? Guarded.
The trick isn’t in the stance alone. It’s in how they move through space. A person who belongs somewhere doesn’t ask for permission. They walk through the room like it’s theirs.
I once watched a hundred-pound woman walk into a SCIF and brief a room full of seasoned hardasses like she was the only person with oxygen. And it wasn’t because of her being in charge, she most definitely wasn't. She moved. She walked up to, paused, and then passed every person in that room at least once. She didn’t try to dominate. She just belonged. And everyone felt it. No wasted steps, no insecurity. I remember that brief more than most, All because of how she moved.
Eyes
Eyes tell you what someone cares about. They land on things for a reason. You don’t stare at a doorknob unless the door matters. You don’t scan hands and waistlines unless you’ve trained yourself to check for threats.
The key is noticing what they notice. The glance, the flinch, the quick shift when they think you aren’t watching.
In South America, we were doing soft contact with a family across from our teamhouse. Just casual neighbor stuff. While we were talking to the parents, their youngest kid kept looking down at my partner’s boots. Nothing overt, but I clocked it. It kept happening. My thick headed co-worker was wearing tan Bates desert boots with jeans. Not sneakers, not dress boots. Military issue combat boots as were pretending to be business men staying here for an expo. That kid didn’t know what he was seeing, but he knew it was off. And when the family went back inside, he was probably going to point it out. I shifted mid-conversation. Dropped the polished intro, gave them a simpler story, offered security & support if they ever needed help as we were here to “protect” a logistics company's radio shipments.
Better to come across as strange but trustworthy than to be the unknown variable across the street that they need to keep an eye on because we were lying or suspicious. All because of a kid’s eyes.
Hands
If the eyes show curiosity, the hands show intent. People think they control their expressions, but they rarely think about what their hands are doing. That’s where nervous energy bleeds out. Fingers twitch, clench, hover. Some people groom themselves unconsciously. Others just go still, like they’re coiling.
Watch where the hands go when they’re not talking. If one disappears into a pocket or behind the back, make note of it. If both hands stay open and visible, that’s a choice too. But the moment someone breaks eye contact and hides a hand, they’re telling you more than they want to. The hands give away what the face tries to hide. Always watch them first.
Voice
Voice is a tool. Not for speaking, but for managing pressure. Some people talk too fast when they’re nervous. Others go monotone and flat when they’re trying not to slip up. The speed, the pacing, the pitch shift when they lie or when the topic hits something real. You’ll hear the break before you see it.
It’s not about catching them in a contradiction. It’s about recognizing when the voice and body split from each other. When someone says they’re calm, but their voice wavers halfway through the sentence, that’s useful. When they’re overly rehearsed, overly smooth, too perfect in their delivery, that’s useful too. The voice tells you what their body’s trying not to say.
Signatures
Every person leaves wear marks. You just have to know how to read them. It’s in the belt that’s darkened at the one o’clock position from daily AIWB concealed carry. In the watch that’s beat up and worn the way a tool gets worn, not a fashion piece. In the shoes—well-maintained but practical, broken in by time on foot, not treadmill runs.
I was at a social function in FL once. Low-key venue. Nice clothes, low voices, supposedly just consultants and aides. I saw a guy standing off to the side in an ill-fitting suit, quiet, unassuming. But his belt had holster wear. Right side of the buckle a few inches in at 1 o’clock and the same way my belt wears from my holster belt clip. I made a mental note. He wasn’t just working. He was working. Turned out later he was a former Fifth Group guy doing protection for a “diplomatic aide.” The kind of aide who had four phones and two passports. The guy never said a word that gave anything away, but his belt did.
Gear doesn’t lie. The body leaves signatures. Learn to read them, and you’ll never be the last to know what’s really going on.
Review
Posture – Watch how they stand, move, and own their space. That’s the truth before words.
Eyes – People look at what matters to them. Attention always has a target.
Hands – Intent, nerves, and control all bleed through the hands. Nothing gives away more.
Voice – The tone and pacing reveal the pressure points. Listen to the rhythm, not the content.
Signatures – Wear marks, gear, and grooming all tell you how someone lives, not just what they say they do.
If you want to learn from people, stop looking for traits. Start watching behavior. The body always tells the truth. You just have to be paying attention before the moment’s gone. That’s how you stay ahead of the game.